top of page

Enneagram Type 3: Adapting Achiever

Jessica McAtee

Threes are in the triad that uses Emotional Intelligence as their first way of knowing the world, but that isn't immediately obvious to an outside observer. They are high-energy, spunky, busy, multi-tasking, over-achievers who feel that they are good as long as they are successful and others think well of them. They seek to earn acceptance and be worthwhile to others by their accomplishments.


Adapting Achievers are perhaps the most efficient group on the Enneagram. They strive to be sexy and desirable in every way. They get what they want. Threes are often well-liked. They have full confidence in themselves and develop their talents accordingly. Threes are sure that if they work hard enough, the sky is their limit. They love to be teachers, leaders, coaches and role-models, setting bright examples for others to follow. They see the best in themselves and others.


Threes grow by honestly following their heart
Threes are guided by their emotional skills

Challenges come when Achievers attach their personal value to their level of success. The goal can keep moving. "I will be happy when I achieve this or that, when I am dating him/her, when I drive that car, live in that neighborhood, earn that honor..." Status symbols, titles, diplomas, money and positions may be confused with worth.


To complicate matters, Threes spend so much time trying to earn respect from others by mirroring and impressing them that they can forget to find out who they really are. They are known as chameleons because their identity changes with each new person or environment. Their passion, the bane of their story is deceit. Specifically, it is a self-deceit. To please others and get the attention they crave, they fool even themselves. They project the image that wins them admiration, but at the unconscious expense of their own soul. This can make it very difficult to get close to a Three or be in an authentic relationship with them. Others may experience them as shallow, inattentive and fake.


It can be hard for Threes to know that they are Threes on an Enneagram test because they can be very out of touch with themselves. Sadly, the first level of self-deceit is typically seen in their inability to embrace the reality that they are fundamentally, highly emotional people. Our greatest strengths can be found in our leading center of intelligence, so for them to bypass their Emotional Intelligence is a tremendous grief to their sensitive hearts and disservice to the world.


Adapting Achievers can grow by dropping the masks and relaxing into who they really are, even if it is not what others want of them. Tapping into their feelings and connecting genuinely with those they are in relationships with will go a long way. Rather than pretending that every past situation was a win, they can admit their failures. Setting limits on work hours is beneficial for their workaholic tendencies. Becoming more relationship oriented rather than considering everything a task in service to a goal (or image) will show others they value them. Enneagram Three must slow down and allow genuine emotions to surface.


Healthy Threes put in the work of discovering their true selves. This work begins by acknowledging their emotions and the information contained within. They know what they like and dislike and what they believe and value. Adapting Achievers discover who they are and become authentic to the core. They realize that they are loved for who they truly are and not because of their accomplishments or image. They cultivate integrity. They become genuine and self-accepting and bring out the best in themselves and others.


Shine your true self,

Jessica Morgan McAtee

5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


Commenting has been turned off.
  • Facebook

©2024 by Jessica McAtee. Powered and secured by Wix

bottom of page