Oh how we love Nines. They are the sweethearts of the Enneagram. They are in the Gut Instinct Center of intelligence and have sharp intuition. They perceive what others can't. They are optimistic and gentle. Harmonious Mediators are others-centered and can bring a calm into any space. Though they are not attention seeking or in the spotlight, their presence automatically delivers a serenity and acceptance to a diverse group. They go with the flow. They are kindly available to others and can see many points of view.
Nines try to smooth out tensions, or what they perceive as tensions, between those around them. They are entirely focused on the external environment and how comfortable it is (for them). If two people are in an intense conversation, Nines will often say or do something cheery to distract them so the situation doesn't escalate. Nines don't like conflict or making waves because it feels disruptive to their chill vibe.
Their greatest fear is loss and separation. They will do almost anything to keep the peace including forgetting who they are or what they stand for. They tend to merge with those they are in relationships with and take on that person's agenda and beliefs. Sloth is their passion because they can be spiritually lazy and not speak their values and preferences. Harmonious Mediators turn themselves way down and tend to think of themselves as less-important than others (which is not true). They prioritize maintaining their inner stability and peace of mind at the expense of their truth. When life gets stressful or chaotic they go into an inner sanctum to keep serenity. This is a serene place that they have escaped to since childhood and it helps them dissociate from the chaos of life. Others may experience this as them spacing out. Sometimes they pretend to be listening, but they aren't tuned in.
Nines can get themselves into situations or relationships they don't like simply because they didn't let their voices be heard. "I don't care. You decide. It doesn't matter to me." By being overly accommodating in order to keep a connection, they say yes too often and then experience resentment. This can cause passive-aggressive behaviors. Much of this could be avoided if they would simply speak up. What they perceive as conflicts are often not experienced that way by those who love them. In other words, if they would offer their opinion, their friends would likely gladly accept the input without any negative outcomes. We need the deep intuition and perceptive insight they offer more than they know.
Healthy Nines learn to express their anger directly and tell others what they want. They are assertive even if others don't like it. They set boundaries. They engage fully with life and stay present. They recognize that we need their input and their voice matters. They speak so we can listen to their profound insights. Harmonious Mediators determine what it is they really want, put it on a list, and make it a reality for their own sake. They prioritize their specific daily agenda with action and diligence. This helps them self-actualize by being true to their inner truth.
Speak your Mind
Jessica Morgan McAtee
Comments